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Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it!
blakk frogg is sarcastic for life
Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good!
Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store
Divorce is made easy?
A married couple is driving along a highway doing sixty mph, the wife behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks over at her and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce." The wife says nothing, but slowly increases speed to seventy mph.
He then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a better lover than you are." Again the wife stays quiet but speeds up as her anger increases. "I want the house," he insists, pressing his luck. Again, the wife speeds up - to eighty mph.
He says, "I want the car, too." But she just drives faster and faster. By now she's up to ninety.
"All right," he says, "I want the bank accounts and all the credit cards, too." The wife slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling.
This makes him a bit nervous, so he says, "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife says, "No, I've got everything I need."
"Oh, really," he says, "so what have you got?"
Right before they slam into the wall at 100+ mph, the wife smiles and says, "The airbag".
- from email
For all of you that thought Blakk Frogg would quit after only a few editions, he wishes you all a slow painful death at the hands of horny IRS Auditors. He'd rather castrate himself than stop bringing pleasure nad joy to the screens of desperate office workers and lonely home-dwellers worldwide.
Ouch. Just the thought of lopping off his lower andominal thrust buddy makes him wince. Absolutely nothing funny about a Frogg losing his ability to pee standing up or procreate without the unrestricted use of a turkey baster.
Yet another reason NOT to grocery shop at midnight?
Evil Frogg gone wild?
How many of you know a person who only calls or comes 'round when they need something?
Here's my answer.
Next time they call you asking for something, avoid answering them and keep them on the line for as long as you can.
Why? Because maybe, just maybe, by the time you hang up with them it'll be too late for them to call anyone else and bother them.
Blakk Frogg considers this an act of community service.
Ever meet a girl with such little respect for herself?
Yeah, OK, I edited out the names. No need for a Frogg like me to catch a damn lawsuit. Got enough problems already, you know what I'm saying?
At any rate, this was supposedly posted in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn around 2/1/2002. Personally, I think someone was pissed.
Jumping to conclusions? Nah, I don't think so. This girl really hurt someone. No one likes to get hurt.
Looks like she got a little more than 'jiggy' with his friend. Uh-oh, oh shit... damn that's a no-no.
If you learn only one thing from this edition, learn this: Never take advice from a Frogg.
Playing the lottery is fun?
Nothing makes the heart beat faster than a chance to make a lot of money in exchange for little to no effort exerted.
I'm as lazy as the next world renowned amphibious lover, but please. Can we use some common sense?
The odds are against you. Didn't the "one in seventy million" odds tell you something wasn't in your favor?
All that propaganda about how money from the lottery goes to support education, etc. tells the truth, but what it DOESN'T mention is all the misguided folks on Social Services spending taxpayers' money on the same dream wealthy people spend their spare change on.
Just learning to drive?
We all had to learn at some time or other. I did it at an illegal age and in illegal ways. Get over it.
Tell me this, though? What better way to learn than when you're paranoid as all hell?
But this isn't about me. It's about people who fail to understand that SOME folks have to actually DO the speed limit in order to make it to work on-time.
Weird, right? No.
Either do the speed limit or deal with me throwing fresh cold cuts out my window onto the back of your car.
Corrupt legal system?
A friend of mine got arrested the other day. All the (major) charges are legitimate, but here's why I'm mentioning the events to you.
His lawyer told him he's facing 4 to 8 years upstate. Sucks, right?
Damn.... Looks like a dead-end road...
BUT this same lawyer can get my friend 6 months county time followed by 5 years felony probation/parole if he comes up with $5,000.
Blakk Frogg says, "'nuff said."
Where are all the funny photos and comical pics?
With so many interesting ( *snicker* ) reality shows on television you REALLY need me to bring you some more nifty pictures?
Well who would've thought. Apparently not me. Guess that makes me a surprised individual. Surprised, but never taken off guard.
You KNOW by now that I'll post things from my email files BOUND to make you say, "Is that for real?"
Who here has a really shitty job and works with a$$holes?
How many times a week do YOU Masturbate?
As far as I'm concerned, it is every rational individual's civic duty to "smack it up, flip it, rub it down.... oh no!" Thank Bel Biv DeVoe for that quote. Might have spelled it wrong. Oops. Sorry. The early nineties were a blur for me. ;)