Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
Commentaries on reality?
Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've been in it for awhile ... it isn't so hot.
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.'
If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is---- it's you.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child ... she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about women is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?
In the 60s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
If you remember the 60s, you weren't there.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a barbecue?
Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."
You read about all these terrorists, most of whom came here legally, but hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and these people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration!
Soon I'll have to use my toes!
After six relatively friendly editions I decided you folks deserve some thing a bit more... impolite.
Great billboards that the squares disapproved of?
What YOU expect now is a penis pill ad, right?
I'm so sick of ads like this one piling up in my mailbox. Bold face type is the ad, the regular type is what goes through my mind as I read these things.
I can understand targeting males, but I work with a woman who gets ads like this one, minus the commentary, all the time. Oh, I get it. As a woman it would be doing her woefully inadequate male partner a favor by ordering these behind his back and slipping them into his beverages at dinner.
Why are you so warped?
While all the other kids were busy making fart jokes and taking turns grossing each other out by sticking pencils in their ears, butts and noses (in that exact order!) I was watching comics like Robin Williams, Steven Wright and George Carlin give their views on the world.
History of big business?
A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died. I'll give you your hundred dollars back."
Kenny replied, "I don't want the money back. I want the donkey."
The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"
"I'm going to raffle him off."
"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
"Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Kenny. "What happened with that dead donkey?"
"I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898."
"Didn't anyone complain?"
"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron.
Where did I learn to write like this and edit photos?
For the last time, people, stop telling me how great an artist and joke writer I am. The majority of this stuff comes from emails I get during the week. Yeah, sure, the commentary(ies) and Killer Columns are all Blakk Frogg originals, but the rest of these cyber gems have been pulled from my generally overflowing email box.
- thanks for reading Volume Seven -