Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
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Blakk Frogg Wear?
get ready to read about viagra, penises and penis pills!
Several of you have asked me for a post making fun of Viagra, AKA: The Old Man's Happy Pill. Well, after digging around on a few of my sites I found a few things that you might enjoy.... or not your choice. Blakk Frogg does NOT care one way or the other 'cuz he knows he has beer in the fridge for later.
Pharmacology Names For Viagra?
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink".
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO. Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Terrified Housewife's Viagra Diary?
Day 1: Just celebrated our 25th anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.
Day 2: Today he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why can't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed!?!?
Day 3: This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of Nelson's column and burst into tears.
Day 4: A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his 'problem'. It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work so I replaced his Prozac with Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.
Day 5: What absolute bliss!
Day 6: Isn't life wonderful - but it's difficult to write while he's doing that.
Day 7: This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him! But, have to admit it's very nice & I don't think I've ever been so happy.
Day 8: He took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed whacker. I'm also getting a bit sore down there.
Day 9: No time to write. He might catch me.
Day 10: Okay, I admit, I'm hiding. A girl can only take so much and to make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with neat whiskey! What am I going to do? I feel tacky all over.....
Day 11: I'm basically being screwed to death. I'ts like living with a Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits hurt. He's a complete pig.
Day 12: I wish he was gay. I've stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my teeth or even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Yawning has become dangerous.....
Day 13: Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that "oops, sorry" thing again, I'll kill the bastard.
Day 14: I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him more horny. Help me.
Day 15: I think I'll have to kill him. I'm starting to stick to everything I sit on. The cat and dog won't go near him and our friends don't come over any more. Last night I told him to go and screw himself, and he did...
Day 16: The bastard has started to complain about headaches. I hope the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra and going back to Prozac.
Day 17: Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any difference..... Damn!!! Here he comes again.
Day 18: He's back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front of the TV all day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything for him. What absolute bliss.
What YOU expect now is a penis pill ad, right?
I'm so sick of ads like this one piling up in my mailbox. Bold face type is the ad, the regular type is what goes through my mind as I read these things.
I can understand targeting males, but I work with a woman who gets ads like this one, minus the commentary, all the time. Oh, I get it. As a woman it would be doing her woefully inadequate male partner a favor by ordering these behind his back and slipping them into his beverages at dinner.
"Wow, honey. That dinner was fantastic and... hey! What's this? Your pot roast gave me a woodie!" exclaimed the astonished previously puny peckered man.
Enough is enough. Repeatedly making us guys feel like they aren't packing enough meat can't REALLY be all that successful a marketing campaign, can it? If so, then maybe it isn't the small peckers that are the problem. Maybe it's small minds.
I'm perfectly happy with my vienna sausage... when I can find it, that is. :-/
- thanks for reading Volume 59 -