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Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it!
blakk frogg is sarcastic for life
Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good!
Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store
Action 'tween the sheets?
"As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this
strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I
can't forget last night. You came to me unexpectedly
during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in
my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.
You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any
reservations, you laid on my naked body...you sensed
my indifference, so you started to bite my body
without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me
crazy while you sucked me dry.
Finally I went to sleep. Today when I woke up, you
were gone, I searched for you but to no avail, only
the sheets bore witness to last night's events.
My body still shows your marks, making it harder to
forget you. Tonight I will remain awake waiting for
you... as soon you appear I will quickly grab you and
won't let you go, will hold you with all my strength
so you won't disappear. Won't rest until l squeeze
your blood out.....you fucking little mosquito."
Hey... it's Monday again so here's another heaping portion of email excerpts and other useless cyberjunk. Most notably a partial description of things which happened during my recent vacation in Newport, Rhode Island. Nothing kinky or demented took place, but the story is well worth reading.... So read it here!
Some businesses have the perfect names
I really don't think anyone will need help understanding this next pic, but if you do, well, go get a book on anatomy and figure it out your damn self.
Good drinking stories make my liver twitch
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the
Night celebrating Ireland's draw with Germany.
Mick, the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight,
Paddy". Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then."
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
"Sh#te," he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face. He
looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door
and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and
shimmies up the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep
breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the
sidewalk. He falls flat on his face.
"I'm fockin' focked," he says. He can see his house just a few doors
down, and crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame, opens
the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says "No
fockin' way". He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says
"I can make it to the bed." He takes a step into the room and falls
flat on his face. He says "Fock it" and falls into bed.
The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup
of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last
night?". Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd
you know?"
"Mick called. You left your wheelchair at the pub."
Where's Blakk Frogg's Killer Column? I need a fix...
I've been on 'vacation' for the past week in a quaint little town located someplace in the armpit of Massachusetts (AKA: Rhode Island). You'd think that after spending two years at Brown, located on the East Side of Providence, RI, I'd have learned my lesson, but no... I went back to good 'ole Rhode Island.
Don't get me wrong. I met TONS of really great folks down there and all, but some things just pissed me off.
What was SUPPOSED to be a vacation from reality turned into a twisted nightmare. Getting lost on the way down in the middle of the night, racism, vandalism, attempted car stereo theft, 'legal' dognapping, sunburn... read part one