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at the Blakk Frogg Store
Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it!
blakk frogg is sarcastic for life
Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good!
Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store
They make me sick?
These people make me ill.... Protestors at soldiers' funerals
How would you feel if you had to bury your loved one because they died fighting for the rights those of us in the US enjoy -- like freedom of speech and expression -- and then endure protesting at the funeral because other US citizens used those very same rights to make their ideals known?
At a time like that, despite not wanting to get my good suit dirty, I would most likely lose my mind and break a picket sign off in someone's ass. I would then lose my all personal freedoms and liberties (you may know this better as 'getting locked up') because of a pesky assault charge which resulted from my protecting my right to grieve in private w/o religious and/or pseudo-political nutjobs chanting anti-war slogans in the background.... after my kin died for their right to be there. Damn. Think of the flow chart diagrams all the lawyers will have drawn at my trial in an effort to explain that whole mess. Each exhibit will look like an M.C. Escher masterpiece!
My point? Protestors at the funeral of a person who died defending American values, such as the right to protest, need to re-evaluate their agendas -- and drink the grape Kool Aid.
- quickly written by blakk frogg!
Squirrel on your phone?
Blakk Frogg wants to get in your pants... pocket. Download the image below to your hard drive and then visit mob storage to learn how you can upload images FOR FREE to your image-ready phones in minutes!
Difference between sexes?
Talking dirty to a woman
- SEXUAL HARASSMENT
Talking dirty to a man
- $5.99 a minute
- and -
Difference between girlfriend and wife
- 30 lbs.
Difference between boyfriend and husband
- 30 minutes
- from email!
Penises have the ability to write?
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
- I do physical labor.
- I work at great depths.
- I plunge head first into everything I do.
- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
- I work in a damp environment.
- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
- I work in high temperatures.
- My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
The Penis
- Response To Penis' Letter Follows -
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have put forth, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
- You do not work 8 hours straight.
- You fall asleep after brief work periods.
- You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
- You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
- You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations such as wearing protective clothing.
- You are unable to work double shifts.
- You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
- And if all this is not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the work place carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
- from a phallic email!
Where did Blakk Frogg sober up one night last week?
unless you're retarded, this came from dribble glass
Will Frogg list more differences 'tween men and women?
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
- 40-ish...................................49+
- Adventurous........................Slept with everyone
- Athletic...............................No breasts
- Average looking...................Ugly
- Beautiful............................Pathological liar
- Contagious Smile.................Does a lot of pills
- Emotionally Secure..............On medication
- Feminist.............................Fat
- Free spirit...........................Junkie
- Friendship first..................Former slut
- Fun...................................Annoying
- New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places
- Old-fashioned....................No PJs
- Open-minded......................Desperate
- Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing
- Passionate.......................Sloppy drunk
- Professional......................Bitch
- Voluptuous.......................Very Fat
- Large frame......................Hugely Fat
- Wants Soul mate..................Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
- Yes = No
- No = Yes
- Maybe = No
- We need.. = I want..
- I'm sorry = you'll be sorry
- We need to talk = You're in trouble
- Sure, go ahead = You better not
- Do what you want = You will pay for this later
- I am not upset = Of course I am upset, moron.
- You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
- I am hungry = I am hungry
- I am sleepy = I am sleepy
- I am tired = I am tired
- Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
- I love you = Let's have sex now
- I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
- May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
- Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
- Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
- Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
- I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
- squeezed from an email!
Where was Blakk Frogg drinking before he needed Denny's?
unless you're retarded, this came from dribble glass
Where was Blakk Frogg drinking before he needed Denny's?
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?
The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March......."
- surgically removed from an email!