Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
Ready to screw?
Let the world know what you want. Tell them you have the ability and desire to screw at any time... ready to screw!
Bird Flu Update?
The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:
- from the email fairy!
Loves to nail?
Brought the right tool(s) for the job? Good. That means you love to nail. Tell the world how you feel... loves to nail!
Everyone knows the AIDS epidemic has not gone away. Most rational people take precautions when engaged in sexual activity so that they do not become the next victim.
Blakk Frogg read today that a group of AIDS-infected women in Eastern India marched in a parade on World AIDS Day. Womens' AIDS march in India.
If such an event happened in your hometown, with both men and women, how would you react to seeing a person you recently had sex with marching in their ranks?
Blakk Frogg would shit his pants despite knowing he's always used proper protection during sex. Prophylactics, hockey masks and galoshes every single time!
Point of all this? In the blink of an eye all you thought you knew about your health could come into question. Blakk Frogg has nothing funny or witty to say about that.
forget global warming! blakk frogg wants the OTHER Big Bang!
Tons of scientists have studied the origin of life in our Universe. Most notably, those wacky lab dwellers have concentrated on the origin of human life. Selfish, yes, but true none-the-less.
Blakk Frogg has other concerns... like how human life will END. Sh#t, we already exist so why dwell on the past? Worry about the future! If the race of stick people had thought more about their future then their accidental eradication would not have occurred.
The entire race of stick people burst into flames and perished during a ridiculously wild and crazy orgy. A video camera captured the gruesome deaths of two participants on tape...
Does Blakk Frogg particiapte in those email forwards?
Thank You. My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.
Also, I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper, since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants, even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a cologne sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from, nor send packages by, UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone, because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I no longer have any money because I gave them to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 258th time) but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.
Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 6:00 p.m. (PDT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
- the email monster delivered this!
At what point do some girls decide to become strippers?
Go ahead. Get offended. Blakk Frogg does NOT give a damn. A joke is a joke... unless it involves ferret testicles. Then it's a bad joke. A very bad joke. Ferret testicles have rights, damn it! They have rights! Heh-heh-heh.... usually with matching lefts, too.
Pinching nipples in K-Mart serves a valid purpose?
A woman went to a K-Mart service counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work.
The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming,
"PINCH MY NIPPLES,
The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front a growing crowd of customers. The manager goes to the woman and asks, "Ma'am what's wrong?"
She explained the problem with the toaster, and he tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming "PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!" And doing so draws and even bigger crowd!
In shock, the store manager pleads "Ma'am, why are you saying that?"
In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED WHEN I'm being SCREWED!!"
The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded.
- oh yeah, from another email!
- thanks for reading Volume 41 -