Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
Does your wardrobe suck?
Stop wearing the same tired outfits you have worn since kindergarten.
Laws of the Universe?
Throught time mankind has struggled to gain a better understanding of its environment. Thus far we have determined men and women will never understand each other and should stop trying.
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- from email... it was written!
I'll gladly make you wince in agaony with bad humor!
> joke number one <
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her out to someplace expensive.... So I took her to a gas station!
> joke number two <
Three old Ladies named Gertrude, Maude, and Tillie were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park.
The man came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them, opened his trench coat and exposed himself.
Gertrude and Maude both had a stroke.
But Tillie, being older and feebler, bless her heart, couldn't reach that far.
> joke number three <
Little Jill comes home from playing at Johnny's house. "Hey Mom, guess what! Johnny's got a penis like a peanut!"
Mom is understandably confused for a second, then asks, "What, you mean it's shaped like a peanut?"
Little Jill quickly replies, "No silly, it's salty!"
> joke number four <
A man and his wife are screwing. Fifteen minutes has passed, thirty minutes, then 45 minutes. Sweat is pouring off both of them. After a few more moments, the wife comments, "Can't you think of anyone either?"
- jokes from email... so laugh, damn you! laugh!
Ever see a game of charades go terribly wrong?
- pic arrived via email... so don't blame me!
Blakk Frogg went to Munich, Germany recently?
Got any ladies from the 50's or 60's wolfing down pasta?
Watersports in the middle of a German city?
- thanks for reading Volume 33 -