Check out the cool gear at the Blakk Frogg Store       Blakk Frogg Wear? cool clothes & more from Frogg! Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it! blakk frogg is sarcastic for life Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good! Check out the cool gear at the Blakk Frogg Store View Blakk Frogg Designs Put A Cock In It Tie Me Up, Wear Me Out Did-R-Good Cheap Date Texas Tart Hourly Rates Motel Loves To Nail Ready To Screw Seeking Good Screws + Nails Pick Your Speed -- Let's Screw 68 + 1 w/ Frogg Tongues Pink Frogg Pendants For Girls Blakk Frogg Digs Deep Sarcastic For Life Frogg Twins w/ Tongues Out Official Blakk Frogg Logo Lance Armstrong Collection       Back from the dead? No, but I wear a tie now! What does a tie have to do with anything? Simply put, nothing except that I now live in a place where the average daily temperature smacks the 90 degree Fahrenheit mark on a regular basis in the Summer months. No temps less than 94 for the next week straight, looking forward, that is. Therefore I feel like death dropped me on someone's doorstep, lit me on fire, rang the doorbell, and ran off to hide in the bushes each time I venture out of the office for lunch. For those not familiar with the procedure referenced (poorly) in the above paragraph, perhaps this will help: Classic Ding Dong Ditch    w/ Flaming Doggie Doo Option: Gather decent amount of dog poop and place in sturdy paper bag. Avoid poop that is too runny, as it will soak through the bag and ruin the game. Acquire a flame producing device such as a lighter or pack of matches. Look next to your grandmother's crack pipe. Choose a neighbor that annoys you with their complaints about your loud parties, you breaking their garden gnomes during rough sex with your significant other, you frequently urinating in their exotic coy pond while (usually but not always) drunk, the way you spin your tires on their tomatoes, and/or the fact that you are (most likely) responsible for the deaths of at least 7 of their prize-winning pomeranians. Be sure the neighbor you select is actually home and physically able to answer their front door. Sneak up to previously selected neighbor's front door. Place bag gingerly on 'WELCOME' mat. Use lighter/matches stolen from grandmother to set top of bag on fire and ring doorbell like you have a jackhammer for a hand. Run like hell to safe location where you can hide safely and watch what happens when aforementioned douchebag neighbor answers door. At this point you should be laughing your ass off as you watch that pesky neighbor flailing wildly, cursing loudly, and causing flaming doggie poo to smear all over their (previously) pristine porch. Bonus chuckles for everyone if the neighbor has no shoes on their feet! Now get out there and have some fun! Just don't tell your mother where you learned this trick, OK?       Americas Best Archives? safe bet your mom's in here, too! Use these links if you dare. Blakk Frogg packed all sorts of jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap in these pages over the years... so ENJOY! Main Page Volume 103 Volume 102 Volume 101 Volume 100 Volume 99 Volume 98 Volume 97 Volume 96 Volume 95 Volume 94 Volume 93 Volume 92 Volume 91 Volume 90 Volume 89 Volume 88 Volume 87 Volume 86 Volume 85 Volume 84 Volume 83 Volume 82 Volume 81 Volume 80 Volume 79 Volume 78 Volume 77 Volume 76 Volume 75 Volume 74 Volume 73 Volume 72 Volume 71 Pictures Page Volume 70 Volume 69 Volume 68 Volume 67 Volume 66 Volume 65 Volume 64 Volume 63 Volume 62 Volume 61 Volume 60 Volume 59 Volume 58 Volume 57 Volume 56 Volume 55 Volume 54 Volume 53 Volume 52 Volume 51 Volume 50 Volume 49 Volume 48 Volume 47 Volume 46 Volume 45 Volume 44 Volume 43 Volume 42 Volume 41 Volume 40 Volume 39 Volume 38 Volume 37 Volume 36 Myspace Codes Volume 35 Volume 34 Volume 33 Volume 32 Volume 31 Volume 30 Volume 29 Volume 28 Volume 27 Volume 26 Volume 25 Volume 24 Volume 23 Volume 22 Volume 21 Volume 20 Volume 19 Volume 18 Volume 17 Volume 16 Volume 15 Volume 14 Volume 13 Volume 12 Volume 11 Volume 10 Volume 9 Volume 8 Volume 7 Volume 6 Volume 5 Volume 4 Volume 3 Volume 2 Volume 1

What do you have to say for yourself right now? we're pleading the fifth with a fifth of Three Olives cherry vodka! One of the most important aspects of a Frogg's life deals with staying true to myself. I always do what my Inner Frogg tells me to do. Take a look at what I said in response to my Inner Frogg's last set of commands just this afternoon: "Yes, Master. I will go out to the bar and have many beers tonight. No, Master, I won't tell your girlfriend about your OTHER girlfriend." So as you can see, all's well that ends well... except for the parts in life where things end too soon or in a fit of cannibalism. Those parts tend to suck.       Have you made any friends down there in the South? stop implying that I'm a damn social retard! Here's a pic of me leaving a party that was, as I found out, being held in my honor. Too bad we had to leave earlier than (they had) planned. it's good to have a roommate that knows how to drive fast You may be asking yourself, "Self? What the f$%k is this Frogg's problem? Has he lost his mind?" YES. But the South has been good to me, in all honesty. Have not met a lot of ignorant folk. Those I have encountered have STILL been pleasant. Only thing is they make it clear that they are not in favor of my presence. But they do it politely and move on to another topic. Up North I usually had to guess as to who hated me and by then it was usually too late. Some dumb motherfrogger had slipped up, dropped the "N" Word, and I had that lowlife degenerate strung up by his..... Nah. Not really. It's just a fuckin' word.       Do you really understand all that 'black' slang? 50% of me says, "no." The other 50% says, "word!" Here's a little taste of some things "stereotypically black". These are some free cellphone wallpapers that my friend created. Don't know how to get them on YOUR phone for FREE? I do... learn to upload 'cellie' wallpapers for free! dirty south hip hop hysteria wyrelessunderground.com foxy hip hop heat wyrelessunderground.com foxy hip hop heat wyrelessunderground.com       Blakk Frogg has his own smut hut? Lewd.. crude.. awesome.. bring a towel and some WD-40! If you're a consenting adult who wants to look at titties, boobs, vaginas and hardcore cornholing... check out frogg sex project. I think you'll like www.blakkfrogg.com a lot. Links to free videos, free pics, and free gratuitous stuff. Redundant? Who cares. Your Ad Here       Frogg's life in review? This where I talk about me! It's been a long time since I last bored you with the details of my life so I really don't know where to begin. A lot has happened in two years. Thankfully I can remember most of it. Not all of it, just most of it. Still got a few months unaccounted for, but I'm sure they'll come back to me. Doc says I'm gonna' be just fine. "The lobotomy was a success," he says.       Where are the amphibious words of wisdom? learn to read a book, don't spit on the sidewalk and... f%$k you! Once in a great while I really have no wisdom to give. Sucks, but this happens from time to time. I blame it on the Smurfs. As a child I thought the Smurfs kicked ass on a major level. Little motherfroggers banding together in times of need to whoop the s^%t out of a mean 'ole giant with a bad attitude. Granted I wound up a rather large fellow, 6'8" tall and now a little over 225 pounds, but that don't make me a giant. Quite the opposite, actually. Now I spend my life quiet and un-assuming so as not to incite an angry mob of Smurfs to violence. Funny how things come full circle.

- thanks for reading Volume 23 -